Nickelback doesnt stop to excite me. Heard this song after a long time.

If Everyone cared and nobody cried
If Everyone loved and nobody lied
If Everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died !!

Beautiful lyrics and amazing chad kroeger

Hiroshima

Just after the Hiroshima bomb was dropped from Enola Gay, a whole city was vaporized under the heat of 4000 degrees. There were people charred to death and the blackened survivors some conscious many unconscious crying in fire burns and skin hanging from their bodies. The once tall buildings were reduced to rubble of teak and stones.

One soldier from the rescue team walked the disaster stuck area, all he could hear was the wails and cries for water .He had a flask of water in his belt. But there were strict orders not to give water to the burnt. That will kill them instantly. There was an enormous heat in the air .The slightly conscious with little strength crawled to the nearest pool and water ponds. As the frantic survivors threw themselves into the water many were drowned to death.
“Looking back today, I could have given the water” says the soldier.

Then there was rain. Black rain! The massacred survivors scurried to drink the water. Little did they know they were drinking poison full of radioactive substance? Tens of thousands of people were killed due to the black rain

A doctor approaching Hiroshima thought he saw a black creature with no face and no skin. As he stopped to see what it was, the creature fell down and died. He later realized it was the man who had fled 3.5km after the blast only to die.

A 17 year old bank clerk was buried in a mass grave when she regained consciousness after 3 days. She fought her way out of the grave and crawled to the hospital .When she was treated a little she crawled on a railway track for days together, to reach the next station, her home.

When a 25 year mom saw her girls burnt along with the house shouting
“Mommy, take me out. It’s hurting me”
All she could do was cry
“I am a bad mommy. I don’t have the courage to die with you” along with the pain of glass shards that pierced her.

The survivors however had a different nightmare to face. It is called invisible gamma radiation today. As the doctors would touch the patients in the head, the tufts of hair would fall down. The blood flow from a small wound never clot as they fought their way to death. The radiation ate away the WBCs that fights against the germs in human body. Several thousands died from infection as small as common cold.

Did Japan break the precincts of a political warfare by attacking Pearl Harbor?
Did USA know the after effects of the first nuclear bomb?
Whatever be the arguments on both sides be a justice could never be arrived. When the 100,000 people disappeared from the face of the earth, when the dignity, life and soul of several thousands were reduced to the lowliness of an insect there was jubilation in another part of the world which said “Victory Japan Surrenders” .What is true in one part of the world is not true in another.

Fifty three years later, Today there are no much evidence of the first nuclear bomb in Hiroshima except for few burnt trees and the shadow of a man in stone who vaporized.The evidences are fast disappearing. But the history remains like a dark scar.
It just leaves one to wonder “After all what is life all about?”

Mercy of Greater Gods

I checked my mail box well after a week. My friend in Atlanta had already told me that she will be sending a surprise gift. I had frequented the mailbox last week looking for the gift. As I checked it today I saw a big package squeezed into the box, sitting among trash advertisements and discount coupons.

I got the package out with some pulling and pushing. I felt the package trying to guess what it will be. Impatient as I am, I opened the package. There was this beautiful book "Diary of Traveling Preacher" by Indradyumna Maharaj. I have great respect and admiration for his diaries in www.Traveling-preacher.com. It was indeed a great surprise gift. I thanked my friend. As I opened the book it had a hand written message.

“To Quiller
You have my blessing for your progress in Krishna Consciousness. I pray this book will inspire you. Please write to me.
Indradyumna Swami"

My excitement knew no bounds. My friend has got his signature when he stopped in Atlanta for an hour. Now the alchemist post below looks so meaningless.

All the way through "The Alchemist"

On a warm Saturday evening I was reading “motor cycle diaries “and dreaming about a trip in motorcycle on the areas untouched by human.
That is when my friend came in and said
“Have you read the book 'The alchemist'?”
I have not read many of the famous books. So I said “No”
“WHAT??.you have not read alchemist, you should probably jump from the balcony”.
Insulted by this comment, I got the book from the library and started reading it.

The Alchemist is a simple story of a shepherd who pursues his destiny (treasure) instead getting satisfied with superficial happiness the day today life provides. The story teaches about the wisdom of listening to one’s heart and following the dreams instead of putting self obstacles and consoling oneself.

Halfway through the book, I began to regret so many things in my life.

1. The good universities I could have studied, had I not thought I was incapable
2. The guys I could have proposed, had I not panicked and thought I was impractical.
3. The Jobs I could have done, had I not decided to go wherever life takes me

As I thought about it, I took a break from the book and began to reflect on it. Then I called my friend and told him about all my regrets. He kind of convinced me saying that
“We are no children of lesser god “and I still had all the time on earth to pursue my dreams.

I continued reading the book and was thrilled by the twist in the end. Anyways I was happy for the shepherd who found his treasure. As I flipped the last page of the book there was a hand written message .Apparently It has been a gift to someone .I don’t know how it landed in the library. The message said
“You are the treasure I protect in my life” and a signature.

As I closed the book, the only regret I had was not being a treasure in someone’s life.

If I was...

If I was born in africa in the 19th century,I would have been one among the million slaves died in the ship to america.A Martyr of no cause.

Rain Dance

I had left late from the office that day.I walked past the empty parking lots into the beautiful forest pathway in my office.

Well into summer the trees were a lovely green and woods dark brown from the morning rain.I looked at the lake and the silent ducks.They were floating as if in perfect harmony with the towering trees.
I hummed a soft "la la la " into myself.Wat a bliss of Nature.

And suddenly it rained .Not a drizzle.It was a big rain.I looked at the empty road behind and carefully scanned the trails among the dark woods.It was empty.

I began to jump and swirl in the rain singing
"Poo pol en nenjai koithaval" from minnale loudly as I reached the far end of the pathway

I heard some movement and stopped.There was a couple walking from the opposite trail.There is no way they would have missed my dance.
They had big grins in their faces.
I said a "How r u ?" with a big smile loaded with lots of embarassment,shock and a little bit of happiness.
There is no way all three of us could forget that dance.

5 things I wish people dont ask me

5. Why dint you pick the call when I called yday?

4. When I describe something that interested me, "Are you mad?"

3. Dont tell me u cooked.I know you cant cook.

2. Did you get a guy yet?

1. When are you coming to India.You will get a green card and then only come back?

Naanum En Kevalamana Kavidhaiyum

"Thendrale ennai kadanthu po
charlotte veyilai konjam thanithu po
kadanthale Ippadi endral Nee parthal ennavagum
Alaska aagi vidumadi inda anal parakum Charlotte"

I had to type this kavidai to a girl in my office messenger.I had to translate this in english for the "thendral" was an american

"Hey Breeze just cross me
So I will freeze and lose me
I wonder wat will happen if u face me
I gez that will doze me and close me"

I cursed myself for such a post.Then wondered why I even tried to write a poem
I think I got the inspiration from Pratz place

When words do not express enuf

When one of my colleague called me and said
"Hey ..u know wat I am a technical architect now.Got the promotion today"
First feeling that came to my heart was jealousy.But my words were so different
"Wowww (indicating extreme happiness)..Congrats!!!...When is the treat(atleast give him some loss)"

When my friend( A tamil guy) called me and said
"Kams..I am getting married..Engagement is tomorrow"
Ayyo.If all tamil eligible bachelors are getting married how will I get a guy was my inner thought
"Dei Machi!!! I am so happy for u da" were my words

When my neighbour sported a proud extra cool hairstyle
why dont I have such a hair was my first thought
"Thats a beautiful style.I love it " were my words.

I feel so guilty .My words are never my first thoughts.Although I eventually force myself to think in my word's way.I am waiting for the day when my words and thoughts would be the same.
Uh uh oh definitely in a positive way.
If its in a negative way I cant imagine the disaster I can cause.

When one of my colleague called me and said
"Hey ..u know wat I am a technical architect now.Got the promotion today"
"U and I dont work.And U get promotion and I aint getting nothing" I would blabber like this in the zenith(or should I call it nadir??) of Jealous and disappointed

When my friend( A tamil guy) called me and said
"Kams..I am getting married..Engagement is tomorrow"
"All time.How much did u sell urself for?" I would question his dowry

When my neighbour sports a proud extra cool hairstyle
"I wish you had little brains along with this beautiful hair" would be my words.

Meet me in ward no 13(lucky number), bed no 100 (a percentage representing my mental maturity), Carolinas medical center.
I just got beaten badly !!!

I wish I can have....

How much I wish I can have a PRS (Paul Reed Smith) guitar. Not that I can play guitar or anything. It is the guitar which Carlos Santana played the beautiful "Maria Maria" with. I checked the price. It comes pretty cheap starting at 3000 USD :)

I sit in my beautiful balcony I can feel a mild wind blowing and green trees dancing to it.There is sudden thunderstorm and lightening.I begin to dream of that one place I would want to visit in my life.

I have heard people say Mauritius ,Venice ,Greece,Rome ,Australia.They do excite me, but not as much this place where I have spent four Summer holidays.

Up in the hills,5000 ft tall ,this is the place where western Ghats decided to grow taller.It is called Kodaiyar.Its a grueling 5 hrs ride in the mountains.I can never forget the first time we went to this place.I was 10 yrs old.My dad used to work for the electricity board.He was posted in Kodaiyar. It was known for its ruthless terrain and unpredictable climate.A posting in Kodaiyar means we go to Kodaiyar for 2 months in summer.
I was excited to go to a new place.But the thought that I cannot play with my school mates disappointed me.My dad has already explained about the vast mountains,dense forests,river and wild animals in there. So I was geared up for a adventurous trip.We went to Kalidaikuruchi a 2 hour ride in the bus from my house.I became tired waiting for the mountains.
"Meee..when will the mountains come?" I ask my mom.

She silenced me thrusting a muruku in my hands.That satisfied me.I began to gaze outside the window already angry at my sleeping sister who had grabbed the window seat.After what seemed to be long wait and anxiety, we got down at
Kalidaikuruchi and caught the bus to Kodaiyar.I,being very alert raced for the window seat and I got it. The dream journey began.The bus travelled around the myriad hairpin bends through the dense trees.Me and my sister identified certain trees.

"look Orange"..I shouted
"Look there is a teak tree " shouted my sister equalling the score
"Look that's a maina " I shouted feeling proud.There was a tension in the air.After few minutes my sister shouted
"Look monkey" there was excitement around.My mom and dad were also interested.There was a renewed interest in the front seats also.And my sister pointed me giggling.My mom smiled appreciatively at her sense of humour.

That was a great insult.I glared at her.I could feel blood flushing from my face.Then I turned towards the window.The only escape from the current humiliating scene.I got hold of the window bars and kept my face on the chillness of the grill.The wind seemed to soothe me .My rough hair was flying uncontrollably on my face as if they will scratch me.I could feel the moisture in my face.

I caught the sight of tall far fetched trees and the beautiful mountains capped with moving mist.I dint know how long I was like that .but I had fallen in love with that place. Added to it was the excitement of the curvaceous hairpin bends with mountains on one side and deep valley of nothingness on the other.

"You know what will happen if this bus slips?" asked my dad.He paused for a dramatic effect in our already wide open eyes.

"That's it.No one can escape death" he said.

I clutched my sisters hand tightly.I remembered the monkey joke and quickly removed my hand.
I turned to face the window again. I was awestruck by the sudden beautiful sight.Looking like a neatly laid green carpet were the tea plants as if god painted the mountain in one brush stroke.It was just green for the next 10 hairpin bends and then bus pulled to stop.The board read Manjolai tea estate.We have rode 3 hours already.There was a tea shop and some local shops.

"Meee..I want vadai and tea" looking at the tea shop and the waffling smell from it.My mom fixed me with a glance and said

"It is mountainous.The ride up is very curvy.U ll puke" she said thrusting a big lemon into my hands.
"here smell this" It was too big that I had to hold it with both the hands.

I tried to observe the tea plantations closely.In equally placed line there were women plucking the tea leaves.They seemed to pluck the tea leaves with two hands rhythmically as if they were dancing to some virtual music.All of them had colourful scarfs around their head and a basket in the back.The leaves never seemed to miss the basket as they threw the leaves into it with same rhythm.I was already excited about this place.If this is so beautiful what will it be after 2 hours.I could not contain my happiness.

My dad returned back to the bus.He explained how the tea leaves are processed to make the brown tea powder.
"Dad I want to be a Tea plucker in the future " I shouted very proud of my decision.I suddenly realised that I had shouted little loudly to attract attention.But was disappointed to see there was no appreciation around.The front seat people were
smiling as if it was funny.
My dad said calmly " OK OK we will see later".

Today is not my day.I dint say anything wrong .But this is my place I thought.I was already dreaming about living there as a tea plucker.I am not sure what attracted me.If it was the beautiful mountains or the tea plantations or their scarfs
Then the bus started to move.I began to wave frantically at the tea pluckers.The lemon in my hand rolled away.I dint care. The tea pluckers just smiled at me.but did not stop picking. I could see another hand waving from my window.It was my sister.

"I want to be a tea plucker too" she said. At that moment I forgave her for the monkey joke and loved her the most.

I think I am Agnostic

God !! I should not be the one dwelling this topic.Toying this idea of agnosticsm.
I am the person who would do 108 rounds just to get a code working.But sometimes things change.Its not age.It is not maturity.It is not fear.It is jus how certain things happen in a coincidental sequence.(he he give me some credit for this phrase)
You will not believe it.but yeah that is wat it is.

Last week was a eventful week(Filled with lotsa events I mean).I got to attend this Bhagavath Gita class.It was a nice spiritual experience,assuring my 25 years belief in god and telling us that a creator really exists

Man, they got this sneaky way of telling people.They dont tell u
you should do this n that.They just tell u can follow this else you will be born as a dog or a pig in the next birth.Who wants to be a dog in next birth..not me..
That nearly killed me.So here I go chanting lords name and feeling slightly spiritual.

Things would have been really fine if I had stopped there.

Meddling the internet led me to this whirling Video .It is kind of funny with people wearing long skirts and whirling as if they dont have any job to do..It is absolutely hilarious..So i tried it.I got used to the habit of trying ridiculous things.It got me high.Belive me I was not drunk or anything.I strongly claimed I saw a mystic something whirling.

My roomie claims it is just the giddyness caused by whirling.That sounds logical too.
Then I laid my hands on the Osho videos.He says god is a problem and not a solution.And concept of God is a just a consolation and not truth.That gave me enough confusion

On a really bored day at office I read about Darwin just to find out what he told about origin of species.Just for fun.His theory is unbelievable.Not that I dint study in school or anything ,but never associated with anything.He did 50 years of research in transmutation.My curiousity knew no bounds when i ended up reading about Darwin for a whole day.He cant be lying.A comparison of his theory and bible,bhagavath gita drove me crazy.

If god created man then how can he evolve from Monkey?
 
Oh well things get worse here.I get this lousy dream where I am in a death bed and I figure out in the last minute that God is some one different.Diferent from Krishna,Jesus and Allah.Someone strange whom no one knows.
He just puts a finger at my face and says you never did anything for me."Go to Hell"
Here is where it gets absolutely crazy.I see myself whirling in the Orange flames of fire.Then I woke up looking for fire.

Does god really exist?If he does then are we celebrating the right god.
Doubts doubts from beginning to end.everything to anything.I think I am Agnostic.

Oh I dint forget to say my prayers..Just in case :)