God !! I should not be the one dwelling this topic.Toying this idea of agnosticsm.
I am the person who would do 108 rounds just to get a code working.But sometimes things change.Its not age.It is not maturity.It is not fear.It is jus how certain things happen in a coincidental sequence.(he he give me some credit for this phrase)
You will not believe it.but yeah that is wat it is.
Last week was a eventful week(Filled with lotsa events I mean).I got to attend this Bhagavath Gita class.It was a nice spiritual experience,assuring my 25 years belief in god and telling us that a creator really exists
Man, they got this sneaky way of telling people.They dont tell u
you should do this n that.They just tell u can follow this else you will be born as a dog or a pig in the next birth.Who wants to be a dog in next birth..not me..
That nearly killed me.So here I go chanting lords name and feeling slightly spiritual.
Things would have been really fine if I had stopped there.
Meddling the internet led me to this whirling Video .It is kind of funny with people wearing long skirts and whirling as if they dont have any job to do..It is absolutely hilarious..So i tried it.I got used to the habit of trying ridiculous things.It got me high.Belive me I was not drunk or anything.I strongly claimed I saw a mystic something whirling.
My roomie claims it is just the giddyness caused by whirling.That sounds logical too.
Then I laid my hands on the Osho videos.He says god is a problem and not a solution.And concept of God is a just a consolation and not truth.That gave me enough confusion
On a really bored day at office I read about Darwin just to find out what he told about origin of species.Just for fun.His theory is unbelievable.Not that I dint study in school or anything ,but never associated with anything.He did 50 years of research in transmutation.My curiousity knew no bounds when i ended up reading about Darwin for a whole day.He cant be lying.A comparison of his theory and bible,bhagavath gita drove me crazy.
If god created man then how can he evolve from Monkey?
Oh well things get worse here.I get this lousy dream where I am in a death bed and I figure out in the last minute that God is some one different.Diferent from Krishna,Jesus and Allah.Someone strange whom no one knows.
He just puts a finger at my face and says you never did anything for me."Go to Hell"
Here is where it gets absolutely crazy.I see myself whirling in the Orange flames of fire.Then I woke up looking for fire.
Does god really exist?If he does then are we celebrating the right god.
Doubts doubts from beginning to end.everything to anything.I think I am Agnostic.
Oh I dint forget to say my prayers..Just in case :)
